I have lost 5 pounds and I am realllllllly excited about it. 9 more and I will be where I should be. woop woop.

I ate too much.

I feel like 500 pounds.

My muscles are jacked.

Literally, I can’t move my head without my neck/back hurting. And I can’t move my leg without my IT band tightening up and spasming.

I’m running the half marathon in 2 days.

I don’t know what I’m going to “race” in. I’m way too effing huge to wear the uniform.

I’m bloated and gross.

This is awful.

I talked to my fiance for like 60 seconds today.

And now I’m shedding tears for no reason.

[see above reasons]

country music
road trips
the lake
boating
early morning Arizona runs
monsoon storms
the smell of rain
streams and waterfalls
long runs with Ipod
long runs with a good friend
high heels
book stores
coffee houses
coffee
newspapers
snail mail
best friends
family on Christmas Eve
Being politically incorrect
swings
impromptu adventures
crayons and coloring books
cold beer on the porch
trampolines
modern art
sunshine
cherry coke
being in TJ’s arms
new journals
grandma’s pearls
good conversation
summer
Christmas decorations
cabins
camping
trucks
scratch lottery tickets
learning to ski
lilies
daydreaming
home videos
scrapbooks
an exceptionally clean house
fireworks
wit
love
driving rural roads
singing loudly in the car
popsicles
gym equipment
laughing so hard you cry
short jean skirts
summer dresses
willlow trees
mutual agreement
hanging out with my brother
movie theaters
exploring the outdoors
going to West Point
surprises

I hate WP.

On top of a shitty day at work, I came home and went running right away and then wasn’t really that hungry for dinner. But I ran 8 miles…
I was just so frustrated with the day. So I ate half an apple and some green beans. And all I really wanted to do was talk to my fiance. But fricken WP gets in the way. I cant wait until this is all over. 9 more months.

Me: I’m a little hungry
ED: you ate at 4pm.
Me: I know… you’re right. But I should probably eat dinner.
ED: You don’t need dinner. You didn’t run all week.
Me: I guess so…
ED: And you gained all the weight back that you lost. Now you’re fat again. Way to go.
Me: …Did I?
ED: Yes!
Me: You win. I’m not eating dinner.

I’ve just come to the spectacular realization that I want to live in my bikini and travel the world while working.

My best friend from my freshman year xc season has this unbelievable job. She works for a marketing company that sponsors surfers, skaters, etc., and she just got back from 3 weeks in Bali photographing surfers and promoting her company.

Helloooooooo what was I thinking?????? I would like this to happen to me.

Now.

I am pretty sure my body hates me for eating Wendy’s on the drive back. And drinking beer. and other unnecessary things. And, not running [much] during it all.
So, now I’m sick. Again.

Fabulous.

On a brighter note, I had such a fantastic weekend.

I am running a lot of mileage and trying to watch the thin line between extreme enthusiasm for running/training and unhealthy. I think I’m doing pretty good. I catch myself a lot thinking things like, “oh wow, I can run 9 miles today and eat 1500 calories and I will be way under!” But, the point is that I catch myself and correct it. What a fun little game that is.

I took all the old entries off. I decided the other night that nobody needs to read any of that nonsense. A lot of it is actually really embarrassing. Although honest and mostly uncensored, it’s ridiculous.

I used to like writing a lot…I don’t know where that passion went? But now every time I go to write…I feel like I’m just updating..and it’s kind of pointless.

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body